“I wondered if it was possible to donate my body to science before I was actually dead. I wondered if a disease were to be named after me what the symptoms would be.”
― Miriam Toews, quote from A Complicated Kindness
I spend too much time thinking about blogging and so little time actually blogging. I’d really like to set a schedule and commit to it. I really miss old-school blogging but there are still some good ones out there that give me the warm fuzzies (and good doses of inspiration).
As of last week, I’m halfway (or really more like one-third) vaccinated and can’t wait to get my second (Team Pfizer) shot. I took 3 days off work so if I feel puny that’s fine and if I don’t I’ll still get to take extra naps. Win/win in my book.
I’m also burnt out on work and not only daydreaming about, but actually working on a 5 year retirement plan. It’s probably going to be a partial pain in the ass, and require some uncomfortable compromise, but the thought of only a few more years of 40-hour weeks is so enticing.
So, that’s the recent state of Z, with more updates to come hopefully sooner rather than later.
Somehow the inauguration and my mother’s passing are tied together – even though four years ago they were actually months apart. I think when he (whose name shall never be spoken) was elected and I went walking in the rain that night (2 days after her first gone birthday) everything just broke. And I’m still broken.
But I’m trying to feel hope and peace and positivity or something/whatever. I’m still faking it, after all this time. And quietly wondering, “when does the making it come into play?”
Ringing out 2020 with an escalation of sad videos. If you don’t listen to This Year by The Mountain Goats tonight, I really doubt your commitment to your emo standing.